Take Your Time – You Only Do This Once

Recently my dear Mother passed away. She was frail and elderly and yet this was sudden and unexpected. Indeed we were on holiday in the farthest corner of the world – Portugal!
At the time a close and wise friend said something that continues to resonate with me.

When dear Mum died, in a sense it felt like there was ‘no time’. There was the pressure of so much to be considered and decisions to be made – intermingled with my own and other family members’ grief, especially our darling Dad, and also that of our loving visitors. Yet, in other ways, everything else in life was legitimately put ‘on hold’ and we had the opportunity to spend time with those we loved and grew up with, yet in some cases hadn’t seen for a long while. The conversations were sweet and gentle – laced with laughter, choked with tears, faith was tangible, and together we were able to focus on the essence of our dear Mum and how we would like to honour her and her beautiful and gentle faith.

We were so fortunate to not be constrained by time and were wrapped in love and grace by the community church she had worshipped in. As we considered Mum as a family, we decided that her immediate family, 30 in all including her children, their families and her great grandchildren, were indeed the testimony to her life. She had loved each one and was remembered for that deep gentle love, here exquisite sewing, hospitality, baking, cooking, desserts and an ongoing serving self-sacrificing love, especially for dear Dad. So as the clock ticked a little over time at her funeral as our loving and grieving family honoured and remembered her, I quietened myself with “take your time, you only do this once – it is ok.”  Following that beautiful and precious service this was confirmed by a quiet, lovely friend of Mum’s who said “thank you, that service was a gift to us all.”

I continue to be so thankful for my dear friend’s love and wisdom and am glad to be able to pay it forward and pass that on 🙂 Jennie

“We have this moment to hold in our hand,

     And to touch as it slips through our fingers like sand.

  Yesterday’s gone and tomorrow may never come,

      But we have this moment today.” GLORIA GAITHER