‘I felt like you were a family friend’
As spring beauty unfolds in my garden I think again of the seasons and the unfolding nature of our life’s journey. Of the importance of taking a moment to pause and be grateful and to intentionally note the beauty around us. Reminding myself that when I purposely spend time with my loved ones, being curious, asking questions about their lives and stories – looking and listening for the sad and happy notes, the moments of joy – we grow richer and closer together as we wait, taking in the fragrance of the moment, not rushing.
I love my work as a celebrant. Sitting with families as they speak of their loved ones – precious moments and memories unfolding. Together we curate those into a service or ceremony that reflects them. I help them to honour and celebrate their beloved in a moment when they are longing to do so, yet are often feeling overwhelmed or exhausted in their grief.
These are soft, tender, often fragile conversations as hurts are recalled amidst the treasured memories. Touch stones that we acknowledge – all part of the retelling of their stories and their healing.
Having met them, I then go away and write – waiting and thinking – “what special thing, thought, story, poem, piece of music deeply resonated that I can highlight?” Is there something unique or particular that I can bring into this service or ceremony to mark and honour the one who has passed on. My full written service is then sent back to the family encouraging them to edit and add as they see fit. This is a back and forth process as together we create something that suits them and their beloved. They can then rest in that and prepare themselves for the myriad of family and friends to greet, and the emotions that will arise on the day.
It is truly a privilege and honour to journey with families in these sacred moments.
I always leave enlarged, blessed and thankful.
Indeed in the last week two families have come back to me saying “I felt like you were a family friend” and “Friends asked me if you were part of our family”. I could not have a greater compliment paid.